Forgiveness/Moving forward/Deep pain

I got divorced after 18 years of marriage, and really to 100% give him to God and forgive him for the deep pain Im still feeling. Im feeling worthless as a mom that I failed my kids, but I hopefully taught them its NOT ok to live with verbal abuse, and addictions. But i Truly have days the only way I am getting by is with Gods strength, Because really miss "The Family" I worked so hard on, My future, My future with my kids and grandkids, and now he stole all that from me. When will that DEEP PAIN go away???? I am really trying to stay strong and tell others Im ok, because I feel they are tired of hearing it, But some days I just want to sit in the closet and cry and get it out.So it will go away.