for my friend

l H.
My friend E has been struggling for some time. He is a recovering alcoholic with only 1 year and 3 weeks under his belt. He went through a divorce last year at this time and in November went through a rough breakup with his then girlfriend who was a recovering alcoholic who started drinking again. He is someone who lost all of his support system due to his previous lifestyle and some people to his recovery. He is broken. He struggles with depression, anxiety, suicide, and loneliness. We have only been friends for a few months, but it was a fast growing one. We have talked about feelings and worked on defining the feelings he is having and understanding what may be causing them. I am no psychiatrist, but have been through deep depression and suicidal tendencies in the past. One Monday he sent me a text telling me he wrote a suicide note on Sunday. I told him we would talk in person as its not something to talk about through text, and I knew he was safe at work. He is basically apathetic towards most things and can't seem to find lasting joy. I am the only one he has told about this note. He told me he had a plan on how to do it if ever he did. I offered to take him in to the hospital to be psych evaluated, but he declined due to having to go on a work training trip with a fellow coworker (the best coworker that he could go with thankfully!). I encouraged him to talk to that coworker on their trip because he is a mentally solid Christian man who actually cares. He messaged me later on their trip that he had talked about some deep things during their drive. I offered to take him in to be evaluated when he gets back from his trip and he said maybe. He is scared to have to go in and possibly be out of a job if he needs to stay. I also encouraged him to talk to his doctor about his depression meds. He is very open to finding a counselor, and said he tried for a free one through IU but was denied due to being at capacity. He is also open to talking to someone from my church leadership (who I've already talked this over with). When he opened up he had some hope in his eyes, but a lot of weariness. I pray to find him the help he needs and that he is able to come though this hard time. He has a beautiful soul but is so scarred. I pray that he is opens his heart and lets God in to heal him. I pray for my own strength as I try to help him find the help he needs before its too late. I pray for healing.