Why some single people “settle” for relationships that may not be good for them Show Notes

Wednesday, December 11, 2013 Host(s): Dr. Bill Maier
Listen Now Number of listens: 0Download File Number of downloads: 0

Could the fear of being alone cause singles to settle for less when it comes to relationships?

Getting into a bad relationship can lead to a whole bunch of negative consequences. Even though single people are aware of this fact and may have watched friends’ marriages go sour, many singles still get into bad relationships.  

Headlines and Global News is reporting on a new study that attempts to understand the reasons for this phenomenon. 

Researchers from the University of Toronto found that both men and women are forced to settle for less in relationships because of the fear of remaining single all their lives.

Lead author Stephanie Spielmann says "Those with stronger fears about being single are willing to settle for less in their relationships. Sometimes they stay in relationships they aren't happy in, and sometimes they want to date people who aren't very good for them.”

The findings were made after surveying single adults across a wide range of ages.  About 20% of them said they were anxious about remaining single and eventually dying a lonely death. 

Professor Jeff MacDonald, the co-author of the study, says "In our results we see men and women having similar concerns about being single, which lead to similar coping behaviors.” 

He points out that "Loneliness is a painful experience for both men and women, so the fear of being single doesn’t discriminate on the basis of gender."

If you’re single and want to make good choices when it comes to dating and relationships, let me recommend an excellent book. It’s called “Safe People” and is written by Christian psychologists Henry Cloud and John Townsend.

I’m Bill Maier for WBCL.
« search entire media archive