Newlywed husband writes “My wife won’t attend my church because she says it’s unfriendly” Show Notes

Monday, March 12, 2012 Host(s): Dr. Bill Maier
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Dear Dr. Bill,

I recently got married and I want my wife to attend church with me.  However, she says my church is too formal and liturgical and she feels the people aren’t friendly. 
The denomination I attend is very important to me and I will not give up my faith — but there aren’t any other churches in my denomination in our town.  So what should we do?

Dear Ken,

It sounds like you are a committed Christian and I appreciate your dedication to your church. However, your marriage and your wife’s spiritual welfare are much more important that denominational loyalty.

I’d encourage you to pray about this matter and to ask God to help you see things from your wife’s perspective. If it’s true that the worship at your church is very formal and the people are unfriendly, I’m wondering why you’d want to remain there. 

Could it be out of sense of duty that dates back to your childhood? Perhaps your family has always been part of this denomination and you feel you’d be betraying them if you attended another church. 

Or could your loyalty be based in legalism—you feel your church is the only one that worships in a true or “pure” way? Neither of these reasons is justification for putting your marriage at risk and keeping your wife from Christian fellowship.

I’d encourage you to explore some other churches in your community—it’s likely there are several that hold orthodox Christian beliefs but offer a warmer, more inviting worship experience that your wife will relate to.

Thanks for writing Ken. 

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