Dear Dr. Bill,
It’s certainly possible that your ex spoils him--it’s not uncommon for non-custodial parents to spoil their kids a bit. It’s understandable that you’d be annoyed if he’s letting your son get away with murder.
If you have a good relationship with your ex, discuss how the two of you can get on the same page when it comes to discipline.
If your relationship is strained and this isn’t possible, you’ll need work to put your anger and resentment aside.
You mentioned that you’re emotionally devastated for days every time your son comes home from visiting his dad. If that’s the case, it’s likely you’re looking to your son to meet your emotional needs. That’s not healthy for you—or for him.
It’s critical for you to find supportive relationships with other women. One good place to start would be to join a MOPS group at a local church. You can find one near you by going to mops.org.
Thanks for writing Rebecca.