How Do I Find the “Right Person” to Date? Show Notes

Tuesday, February 14, 2012 Host(s): Dr. Bill Maier
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Just in time for Valentines Day I received an e-mail question from Tim, who listens to WBCL in Muncie.  Tim writes:

Dear Dr. Bill,

I’m 18-years-old and have been in foster-care for 8 years now. I’m wondering if you can give me some dating advice. How do I know when I’ve found the “right person” to date?  I’ve had other relationships that haven’t gone so well, and I knew afterwards there was a problem. But how can you find the right person in the first place?


Dear Tim,

I appreciate the fact that you are being so thoughtful about relationships. Unfortunately many young people today don’t take dating, relationships or sexuality very seriously—and they end up experiencing a lot of pain as a result.

I’d encourage you to keep in mind that although physical appearance and personality may attract us to someone, what’s most important is their character. A person’s character shows itself over time, as we learn about their morals, values, and how they treat other people.

So before you begin dating a girl romantically, get to know her as a friend first. As you spend time together, perhaps in a youth group setting, observe how she acts, what’s important to her, and how she interacts with others. 

In Galatians 5:22, we’re told that a person who manifests the Fruit of the Spirit exhibits qualities like peace, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. 

Of course, we often blow it and act in ways that are completely contrary to that list. That’s where the Holy Spirit comes in. But if a girl you’re attracted to doesn’t display any of these qualities, she’s definitely not a good prospect.

Thanks for writing, Tim. I’ll be praying that God will help you find a wonderful Christian woman!

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