Dear Dr. Bill,
I’m concerned about the friends my husband keeps in touch with from college. Some of these guys are married and some aren’t, and they plan frequent “boys weekends” away. What concerns me is what goes on during these trips. Let’s just say it’s not exactly healthy and wholesome. On the last trip one of the guys even got arrested.
My husband believes there’s nothing wrong with married couples going on separate getaways or spending the night apart for such occasions. But I’m not comfortable with this — and it’s led to some serious trust issues in our marriage. What do you think?
Generally speaking, it’s healthy for husbands and wives to spend time with good friends of the same gender. This might even involve a man going on a weekend golfing outing with his guy friends or a woman taking heading off to woman’s retreat with her girlfriends.
But given your description, your husband’s “boys weekends” can’t possibly be a good thing, for him or for your marriage.
I’d suggest that the two of you make an appointment with your pastor and discuss this issue. Hopefully he can offer your husband some godly counsel regarding his circle of friends and the weekends away. Your husband may also want to consider signing up for a men’s retreat, where he can meet some spiritually mature guys in the church who share some of his same interests.
Thanks for writing Shelly. If you have a question for me about family issues or Christian living, click on the “Questions” link on the Culture Connection page.