Dear Dr. Bill,
I was a single mom of 4 daughters until I met a wonderful man who didn’t have any kids. He’s been an amazing father-figure for my girls, and we’ve recently married and had a son together.
Now I’m concerned that my husband is feeling overwhelmed — because of a new marriage, a new family, a new baby — plus a job change! In many ways it feels like our family is living on the edge, and I don’t want anything to destroy our marriage. What can I do to support my husband during this difficult time?
Given all of the recent changes in your husband’s life, it’s no wonder he’s feeling stressed out. My guess is the most significant stressor is his new job. It sounds like he is the sole provider for the family, and most men take that role very seriously. If he’s under pressure to produce at work or is learning an entirely new job, his stress level may be off the charts.
Your husband will benefit from an extra measure of support and encouragement during this difficult time. Let him know you understand how much pressure he is under, and ask him if there are specific ways that you and the kids can support him. If there are household projects that need to be done but that can wait a few months, let him know that there’s no hurry.
One of the most important things you can do right now is draw near to God. Pray together as a couple every night. Turn over your stress and anxiety to the Lord and ask Him to give you a sense of His peace. If you’re not involved in supportive, caring church, find one and get plugged in.
Thanks for writing Joy.
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