Dear Dr. Bill,
I’m 25 years old and a dad with two kids. My daughter going on 2 and my son is only 2 months old. I grew up without father, and I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing. I’ve never had anyone to teach me about family morals, and lately my wife has been nagging me about being a better father. What can I do to lead my family the way that God intended?
I appreciate your honesty…it’s tough to grow up without a dad. Now that you’re a father yourself, you’re realizing how important it is to have that role model. The first thing I would encourage you to do is to find a mentor who can help you learn what it means to be a godly husband and father.
A great place to start is your church. Ask your pastor if he can help match you up with an older, mature Christian man in the congregation who would be willing to give you some guidance. You might also look for a men’s group that disciples guys and helps them to develop into the kind of men God wants them to be.
If you’re not studying the bible on a regular basis, make that a priority in your life. You can find great advice on developing godly character in Chapter 5 of Galatians and Chapter 3 of Colossians. There you’ll find that God wants us to develop character traits like compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, and self-control.
Given the tension with your wife, I’d encourage you to find a Christian marriage and family therapist. If you call the counseling department at Focus on the Family,they can refer you to a licensed Christian counselor in your area. The number is 1-800-A-FAMILY.
Finally, let me recommend an excellent book that will help you. It’s called “Lead Your Family Like Jesus” by Ken Blanchard, Phil Hodges, and Tricia Goyer.
Thanks for writing, Mike. I’m Bill Maier for WBCL.